Five husbands! That can’t be fun, God knows I have enough trouble with one!

“Five husbands! That can’t be fun, God knows I have enough trouble with one”. Kalki Koechlin writes a monologue on Women’s Day.

Bollywood actress Kalki Koechlin wrote a strong monologue for a solo performance at the 13th Indian Today Conclave on International Women’s Day on March 8. The monologue, which she dubbed as ‘Just Another Rant’, is a frustrated ode to women everywhere chained and bound by traditional patriarchy.

Here’s the full text of her monologue:

You remember in the beginning?
In the beginning God made man.
God made man in his own image.
And then that’s was it. ‘Man’kind, hu’man’ity, wo’man.
Man, man, man.
What chance in Hell did we ever have?
We were sidelined from the Big Bang.
You remember Draupadi?
Draupadi married off to all five Pandavas.
She garlanded only Arjun
But they told her you got to marry all of us.
Five husbands! That can’t be fun.
God know I have enough trouble with one.
Or what about Eve and the apple?
Blaming one woman for all mankind’s evil?
Soorya and Kunti,
The Virgin Mary
Do you know Gaia?
The Goddess Mother Earth
She’s the one we all trample on.
And remember Aphrodite
Goddess of love and beauty
Lest we forget, she was also
The patron of prostituting.
She was less known
Raped by Hades
She became Queen of the underworld,
Not even goddesses were left alone.
You might not know A’isha,
She was one of the wives of Prophet Mohammad
She challenged a Califh for power
It created quite a ruckus,
It led to war in fact,
All because of one woman’s fuss,
And so was born the tradition Islamic
That women should not engage in anything politic.
But of course they did,
Thank god they did.
Women have their ways,
As somebody once put it.
The Queen of Sheba, Empress Theodora, Rabia al’ Basra,
Cleopatra, The Victorian Era, The Mona Lisa
The Suffragettes, Marilyn Monroe, The sixties and burning bras,
The unpopular Thatcher and our own Indira
Et cetra et cetra and now here we are.
Here we are,
We’ve survived this far,
Thanks to seduction, perhaps some manipulation,
But mostly thanks to Mother Nature and ovulation.
Now look at all the queens and goddesses of history,
No prince came to the rescue,
No king ever went down on one knee,
No deity was even that trustworthy,
Yet all we’ve be told since we were three,
Are fairytales, adverts, and pretty stories,
Telling us to pray, hope,
And wait to be saved.
Here we are today.
Here we are,
On International Women’s Day,
With some minor disappointments,
And a few little things to say.
The woman in red,
The girl in pink,
The widow in white,
The Burqa in black,
The colour of lipstick,
Viva Glam, Lady Danger, Fresh brew, Faux, Frenzy, Hot Gossip and Sweetie.
Ramblin, Siss, Crme cup, Paramount and Modesty
Fetish, Spice it up, Naked Paris, Honey love and Odyssey.
Apply, line, smack, seal, pout,
And you’re ready to go out.
Sometimes I just want an oversized T shirt, boxer shorts, unkempt hair and unibrows.
I want armpit hair long enough to plait,
I want a clean face without a trace of make up
I want to look the way I do when I wake up.
I want to scratch my head,
Dig my nose,
Lick my fingers,
Stretch my legs
And spread my toes.
I want to smile with my gums showing,
Bare my teeth and
Contort my pretty face into wrinkles.
I want my crow’s feet to look sexy,
Or my salt and pepper hair,
Or my sun burnt skin,
I want to be George Clooney basically,
But with breasts and a muffin.
No…no…shhh…control, control!
Keep it down.
Stuff it up, bottle it in, switch it off,
Cross your legs, wear a bra,
Sit straight and smile sweetly for the camera.
I went to a party,
I went to a party where
I was looking for something real.
Glittering, flashing lights,
Sparkling clean glasses with something bubbly and expensive inside,
Stuck on smiles of painted lips and gorgeous, skinny, beautiful ladies all around,
I craved a touch, a caress,
But my senses were intimidated by cloned perfection.
I thought I could hear muffled wailing,
Nervous giggling,
Intoxicated complying.
I thought I could hear the buzz of millions, screaming out their instructions,
Sit down, stand up, stay,
This way, that way, go away
I can’t breathe, I’m choking.
This room is filled with smoke
From regrets and weak, nicely packaged cigarettes.
This room is filled with luxury and fame
And false dreams.
This room is full of fat sharks
With sharp teeth
Sliding through delicate skin
Like a hot knife through butter.
God I’m so hungry.
There’s nothing to eat.
No food except some frozen bits of fish
On a silver platter
I eat one. I’m still hungry.
I eat another and I’m stared at by the waiter.
No matter. I take the whole platter
Totter off to my little corner
Next to an old and and eat from my platter.
I’m stared at by the latter.
No matter. I continue to eat from my platter.
I wipe clean the crumbs from my platter.
I lick clean the whole platter.
What? What are you looking at?
Stop. Stop looking at me like that.
What? I was hungry.
Haven’t you ever seen somebody eat before.
Stop it. Seriously, stop staring at me.
Hey, I’m talking to you,
Are you deaf?
Stop staring at me!
Stop it. You’ll drive me crazy!
Oh god, I’m dizzy.
It’s that bubbly stuff they gave me
This is one hell of a party.
I have to leave.
I’m spinning and bumping into people and furniture,
I’m spinning and bumping into everything.
Bumping into shiny lies, through living ghosts,
Past sickness,
Ramming right into anger,
Into wastefulness, nothingness,
Bad times, endless sleepless nights,
Half dead daylights,
Violent bumps from losing loved ones,
Losing innocence,
Losing dignity,
Losing looks,
Losing, just losing.
I’m craving, I’m starving,
For something real,
Something breakable,
Something tangled,
Fragile, imperfect and free.
I am starving
To be me.
What am I complaining about?
What right do I have to complain?
I have money, friends and fame.
I’m not fifteen and married,
I’m not a little girl who’s been lied to that she’s a woman,
Who’s been told not to question
A stranger who shares her bed,
I’m not a little girl who’s been
Raped before she’s been kissed,
Who’s been made mother
Before she’s had time to play,
Does she even ask to be free?
Does she dream?
When her husband enters her
Is it Shah Rukh Khan she tries to see?
Does she feel sexy?
I don’t think so.
This is her job,
Twenty four hours,
Seven days a week,
Zero pay,
Just get through each day.
Do you think she cares freedom, rights, about politics or religion,
She’s fifteen.
She cares about food
And what her neighbors say.
Politics and religion are for the luckier,
The wealthier,
The stronger,
And in our country,
Politics and religion are enviable careers.
So your religion tells you to cover up,
Your religion tells you to shave your head,
Your religion tells you to be meek,
Keep your eyes lowered,
Keep having children,
Or keep your mouth closed.
What if your religion told you to hate the other,
What if your religion told you to burn alive on a funeralpyre,
What if your religion told you to do whatever you felt like,
Spit, scream, gossip, fight, lose control, make noise, pollute,
Marry a child, perform an honour killing,
Rape, torture, discriminate,
Keep breaking the law,
Keep locked up,
Keep uneducated,
Keep submissive,
Keep ignored,
Keep under control.
Does God have a say in your religion?
Has God become a politician?
Dear men,
Dear powerful men,
I know you care about women.
I know you care about her.
I know you want her to feel like a princess,
I know you want to put her up on a pedestal,
Make her a goddess,
And give her a special day
International women’s day.
You want to carry her so she can’t walk,
Hold her, so she can’t be free,
Tell her, so she can’t know any differently.
But NO!
No. That’s not how works equality.
It’s hard work
To change a nation’s mentality
It’s hard work to go unnoticed,
Change the roots and the minds
Of a people who have been too long deprived
Of education and basic rights
Who are steering towards intolerance and misanthropy
Because of shameless inequality.
Dear men,
In all this will you give me the power?
Will you let me stand in your place?
Will you let me laugh in your face.
Will you stop staring, judging and accusing me
Or will you arrest me for blasphemy?
Label me as sexy, slutty, lose or crazy?
Call me Basanti, Pinky, Sweetie and whistle at me?
And wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
Not just dear men,
Dear auntie,
Will you stop gawking at me?
Dear Didi,
Will you stop telling me to shut up?
Dear women,
Will you, at least, stand up for me?
Enough of a woman who has become viscous from her environment.
Enough of a woman who has to become a man to compete.
Who has to weaken where she is strong and strengthen where she is weak.
Enough of a woman that has to make space for child and lover,
That has to occupy what space is left over,
Enough of uninformed teenage girls
Bleeding after losing their virginity and keeping silent after,
Enough of having to deal all alone with the morning after,
Enough of the disposed foetus,
Enough of the unwanted daughter.
Enough of girls in fairy dresses,
With bulimia and major complexes,
Enough of parents in denial, gender gaps and dividing sexes.
I’m tired.
You’re tired.
We are all tired.
We’re tired of waxing, manicuring, excercising,
Aborting, procreating, trimming, posing,
Smiling, threading,shopping, fucking, water-bursting,
The pill, make up, high heels, stainless steels, tampons, covering up,
Nurturing, caring and crying.
Sometimes I just want to breathe,
Sometimes it’s hard to even just breathe.
Like when a man is pounding incessantly on top of you in a daily routine,
It’s hard to breathe
When he turns away to sleep
Leaving you completely I satisfied sexually,
It’s hard to breathe
When your clothes are too tight,
The underwire of your bra is poking into your ribs,
It’s too hot to be wearing all this,
And it’s hard to breathe
When you want to stop being stared at but everyone always is.
The watchman, the rickshaw wallah, your neighbour’shusband,
They’re all watching your chest heave,
Everytime you breathe.
Sometimes, as a woman, you feel guilty to just breathe.
Of course we are going to be hysterical
Of course we are going to scream,
Of course we’re going to be unreasonable.
You think it’s reasonable to restrain somebody’s breathing?
Hello. Namaste. Salaam.
I am a Hindu a Muslim a Christian a Buddhist and an atheist.
I am twenty, thirty, forty and fifty.
I am single, married, divorced and half the country.
I am a mother, a daughter, a wife and a prostitute.
I am a stereotype, a trophy and a prisoner or patriarchy.
I am a woman in Indian society and I am not yet free.
But forget about all that for a moment and just look at me.
Look beyond my body, really look at me.
I am not a hardcore feminist to be very honest.
I am not a rebel as some would like to believe.
I am not even such an impressive celebrity,
I am not always made up and dressed up perfectly.
And my therapist assures me that I’m not crazy.
So look beyond all that. Look at me.
Look at what you’re seeing.
You’re seeing another human being.
You’re seeing another you in me,
And really there is no difference between you and me.
That’s all we need to grow up understanding,
To make ours a better society.

Does Malaysia Airlines instill confidence in its handling of MH370 incident?

It is very easy for people to blame on Malaysia Airlines and the Malaysia Government in the wake of the missing flight MH370. As if it is not enough that the families and relatives of the 160 Chinese onboard the airlines are blaming Malaysia Airlines and Malaysia, now we suddenly have a country full of “armchair reporters” and “crisis experts” adding salt to the wound, thanks to internet, Wikipedia and Google.

As much as I would like to take an objective and neutral view on this situation, I am also patriotic for Malaysia is my country, and I am confident that Malaysia Airlines and the Government is doing its best to get to the bottom of the crisis. After reading this, I now have increased confidence in Malaysia Airlines.

I hope the article below, published by the Vulcan Post help you see where I am coming from:

Does Malaysia Airlines instill confidence in its handling of MH370 incident?


When tragedy strikes, like it has with the disappearance of flight MH370, the company at the centre of it all comes under intense scrutiny. It must demonstrate that it knows what it is doing and has a difficult situation under control – or lose the confidence of the public and all other stakeholders.

If it loses control of the situation it will plunge itself into a deeper crisis as all the frustration and anger of missing loved ones come to bear full force on it.

Fortunately for the families and loved ones of MH370, however, Malaysia Airlines has so far has demonstrated its professionalism in handling this crisis-like situation. Their burden remains heavy, but they can at least take comfort that CEO Ahmad Jauhari Yahya and his team know what they are doing.

How can you tell if they are doing a good job?  There are several tell tale signs.

The first is that Ahmad and Malaysia Airlines’ willingness to share information. Perhaps a bit slow off the block Ahmad nevertheless addressed the issue in a Press Conference yesterday where he expressed sympathy for the friends and families of the victims, told the public what they did and did not know yet, and what they are doing. This is the Triple R of crisis communications – Regret, Reason and Remedy.

The other indication of what sort of a company Malaysia Airlines is when it comes to crisis management can be seen very evidently  from how it manages its digital assets because in this age of the super-connected public, they are the first points of contact for most people around the world who are interested in the developments of the search and rescue and recovery of MH370 and its passengers and crew. The digital assets are primarily its website, as well as its social media channels such as Twitter and Facebook.

Companies trained in crisis management usually have a Dark Site prepared for incidents such as MH370. A Dark Site is a “dormant” website that is stripped of all promotion materials and designed to provide information and updates about the incident. It is activated only during crisis-like situations.

If you go to the Malaysian Airlines website you will see that they have stripped their website of all promotional materials, with a prominent “pointer” to the Dark Site.


Click on that and you go directly to the Dark Site where you get the latest information that the company has on the incident.


But Malaysian Airlines does not stop there. Go to their Facebook page and you will see the same messages being posted to amplify their message on the website. The Facebook page is also stripped of all colour and the airlines logo is grey together with a grey background, to prevent any inadvertent visuals that may not be appropriate for the mood.


This same treatment is also applied to its Twitter account which is also used to amplify the message on its website.


Such coordination and activation within hours of the incident suggests a company that takes crisis management seriously and has drilled its employees to be able to carry out such tasks under the pressure of public scrutiny. It should give confidence to the public that Ahmad Jauhari Yahya and his Core Crisis Management Team at Malaysia Airlines are competent, professional and know what they are doing.

In difficult times like this, such professionalism should be a source of comfort for aggrieved families and friends of the passengers of MH370.

The article is originally written by Ong Hock Chuan, and was published by Vulcan Post.

To be right or to be happy?

If you reflect on every single moment of your life, you will realize that at any given situation, you always have the freedom to decide between two choices: to be right or to be happy.

Your decision will set the stage for your state of being, not just at the moment of making that choice but also in the shadows of those moments. Understand that every circumstances as happening for you instead of happening to you, and accept that you are given the chance to give the best of yourself when you receive that moment.

 Forget about being right, seize the day and be happy.

Resolutions 2014

Resolutions 2014

42 Simple Habits To Make Yourself Better

Malu, tapi mahu

Malu, tapi mahu – Adit Rahim


Aku malu, tatkala terbaca
Kata-kata dabikkan dada
“Ketuanan kita harus dijaga”
Siapa yang mati, melantik kita
Jadi pejuang cuma satu bangsa
Sedangkan yang lain diketepikan sahaja?

Aku malu, tatkala terbaca
Suguhan pelbagai, diberi orang kita
Sedangkan ianya buat mereka alpa
Tiada berusaha, tetapi mahu kaya
Peluang diberi, dipersia-sia
Sibukkan tuding jari mempersalahkan segala

Aku malu, tatkala terbaca
Orang terpelajar tapi masih berkata
Bantulah mereka yang terpilih sahaja
Tidak menyokong, pinggirkan sana
Bukankah bila adil dan saksama
Ramai sayang, yang membenci tiada?

Aku malu, tatkala terbaca
Yang berani menegakkan yang benar dicerca
Mungkinkah ada yang malu dengan kata-katanya
Kerna tepat menusuk kalbu dan jiwa raga
Pabila agenda sebenar dibongkar merata
“Niat” anda-anda berpusatkan wang semata-mata
Aku malu, tatkala terbaca
Begitu rapuh minda anak bangsa
Ditegur tak boleh, dikata terus teriak menganga
Ilmu cetek tetapi cuba memperjuangkan “agama”
Kononnya orang “luar” tidak layak menyuara
Duduklah bawah tempurung gamaknya

Aku malu, tatkala hendak bersuara
Nanti dibidas, dikata penjahanam bangsa
Tapi teguran harus diterima, bukakan minda
Yang benar itu memang pasti pahitnya
Tak sanggup telan, alamat tak majulah kita
Kembali dalam kepompong, runcing akalnya

Aku malu, tetapi aku tetap mahu
Kerna terlalu penat menahan pilu
Melihat “kemunduran” pemikiran “rakan-sahabat”ku
Yang masih berangan-angan tanpa silu
Sedangkan orang lain dah lama berlalu
Jauh tinggalkan kita semua, untuk maju

Aku malu, kerna aku tahu
“Selimut” itu terlalu enak buat kamu-kamu. – 6 Disember 2013

Catching Lady Luck



The last two years have been filled with bittersweet experiences. Some were diabetically sweet and some were painfully bitter. Others were too mediocre to remember. Life wasn’t all peachy, and not that I expected it to be. I often have had to swallow my pride, and settling for less than I thought I deserve. But then, perhaps that is what God has intended me to experience, so I can better learn humility and fully accepting myself for what I am. Who I am, I need to discover too.

I don’t know why I’m no longer that  gungho and kiasu anymore, and I’m no longer ambitious in climbing up the corporate ladder anymore. I find myself no longer wanting things I had always wanted when I was much younger, and no longer interested in those worldly pursuits anymore. 

I’m letting myself feel vulnerable and I have never, ever felt this vulnerable in life. I wonder what is happening to me…

I feel even more vulnerable after suffering from mild stroke sometime in March. Recovery took a few months and even now, I can’t say that I have fully recovered from the mild stroke. The right side of my body sometimes feel tingling, and sometimes a little numb. The mild stroke probably did something to contribute to my current state of mind. I feel I’m no longer the same person I used to be. Where I am now is a foreign universe. I need to find myself again. No. Correction. I need to find myself. My true self.  Who am I? What do I want in life?

After a series of unfortunate incidents, I was just worried that my luck was beginning to run out. Then I realized that luck doesn’t run out, they just run around. I just have to catch Lady Luck unaware.  There are many Lady Luck running around.

I must have caught one Lady Luck unaware because I remarried after ten years of being “single again”. I married a man I have come to love for himself and who loves me for myself. So yes, I’m lucky on one count. I believe, there must be countless ways to be lucky. I will keep running after another Lady Luck, because I still don’t know what I really want to do in life, when I finally leave the corporate life. Eventually, I will want to do something on my own, be my own boss.

I’m still doing some soul searching to find what my passion is. I hope someone can help me find what I’m looking for…

Global Peace Index 2013

Planet Earth is not really a peaceful place, according to an analysis that quantifies the relative peacefulness of 162 nations around the globe.


Released on 11 June 2013, the seventh annual Global Peace Index assessed each country’s internal crime statistics, population trends and other factors — from the number of homicides to terrorist activity to prevailing economic conditions.


Here is the list of 20 most peaceful places on earth:

1. Iceland
2. Denmark
3. New Zealand
4. Austria
5. Switzerland
6. Japan
7. Finland
8. Canada
9. Sweden
10. Belgium
11. Norway
12. Ireland
13. Slovenia
14. Czech Republic
15. Germany
16. Australia & Singapore
18. Portugal
19. Qatar
20. Bhutan

Malaysia, ranked at No. 29, is faring much better than United States which is ranked at No. 99, and United Kingdom which is ranked at No. 44.

Nations earned their places on the Global Peace Index list based on 22 indicators compiled from several international sources, including the Gallup World Poll, the University of Maryland Global Terrorism Database, the U.N. Survey on Crime Trends, and the International Institute for Strategic Studies Armed Conflict Database. The indicators measure violent crimes, the size of jail populations, political instability, violent public demonstrations and military expenditures, among other things.


According to the study, in the past five years, 110 countries have become less peaceful, while 48 have improved their scores. The overall gauge of peacefulness around the planet has dropped by 5 percentage points in recent years, with considerable economic impact. The cost of “containing violence” and the associated loss of productivity and property damage are estimated to be USD9.46 trillion in 2012, or 11 percent of the gross world product, the study found.

One of the key factors is the migration of populations to urban areas in developing countries has been a key driver in the rise of homicides worldwide. This has also led to an increase in violent crime.


An interactive map and other information about the Global Peace Index can be found at


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