Monthly Archives: May 2007

What a woman wants…

My well-meaning aunt recently introduced me to one of her husband’s close friend. This candidate is a 40 years old bachelor who runs his family’s palm oil plantation and is also a small time builder in Johor.  Better grab him, as he’s cash rich and has lots of properties, kind, tall and not bad looking either, my aunt told me.  Rugi kalau tak cekup, she said. Hmmm…I dunno why but I get cheesed off with remarks like that, even from a very well meaning relative. Money is no doubt important in life, it’s just not at the top of my list in choosing my life partner.  I’m not a gold digger, you know. That’s against my principles, for God’s sake.  I was asked by a close guy friend, Graveyard Shift sometime ago what my criteria are, and I said: 

  1. Religion – he has to be a practicing Muslim and has faith in Allah, or one who is willing to embrace Islam on his own accord, not just for the sake of marriage
  2. Character – he has to have more than just an interesting personality, character is deeper as it develops one’s integrity and makes one to become responsible, accountable, gentle and kind to everyone and everything in life
  3. Education – this is important because it would hinder good flow of communication between the two of us if he cannot understand and appreciate half the things I’m saying.  It will be tiresome having to lower down my standards everytime to meet him halfway (believe me, I’ve been there before!).  Also important is how he uses his education – and how he uses his brain, tongue and hands. Seriously, I cannot imagine the suffering of being married to a bodoh sombong or a slow dim witted drongo…
  4.  Sense of humor – if I’m gonna spend at least half a day with him everyday, he better have a good dose of this priceless commodity
  5. Looks – not necessarily good looking, but he has to look good (in my eyes at least)  because I want someone I like to look at everyday (hehehe I cannot just cover the face, hit the base only lah, that really kills my passion for that thang!)
  6.  Ambition – not to rule the world, that is, just a strong desire and commitment to make quality of life better for the both of us and our family
  7. Money – I’m not going to be the bread winner and support my man financially, so he better have means to support himself and our family

 The two things that bind everything in my criteria list are chemistry and compatibility.   Quoting Oprah Winfrey, “Maybe step one is compatibility. I’m not talking about the kind of chemistry that flames out with the first hint of stress; I mean the kind that deepens, sweetens, and strengthens into genuine intimacy, the kind that sustains people through kids and carpools, stomach flus and mortgage payments .” One of the things I worry about well meaning relatives trying to match make me with someone they like is that I don’t like him as much as they do.  I don’t think he meets my requirements and specs. How do I turn him down and my aunt’s hope and still make everyone happy? Help!!!! Why can’t I have an intelligent, witty, gentle, kind, responsible, nice-look-at homo sapien who has a good character, sense of humor, a bit of ambition and money for a partner? Has the world run out of such men? 

Hehehe I know I’m being stringent in my requirements and specs for a life partner but must I compromise so much in getting the right fit? Must I? Must I? Must I?


Connectivity, connection…

Before I went to America to do my undergraduate study more than ten years ago, I used to think that Malaysians were very lazy. [People, don’t get me wrong, not that I wasn’t patriotic, but then this was what I thought back then. Well at least I am honest about what I thought eh?].  

But then, when I was a student and working doing a short stint doing hotel sales in America’s Silicon Valley, I thought that Americans are also a lazy bunch, it’s not just Malaysians.  They didn’t want to work over time and during weekends. So most of the time, me and my Asian colleagues grabbed the opportunity to make extra money. 

[Ahhh! Now I understand why, it’s called getting some quality of life because we Asians are just workaholic and so kiasu]. 

I guess, now, not in America and in advanced countries alone, laziness or malas is becoming part of our global pop culture. Malas is becoming as Malaysian as nasi lemak as laziness is becoming as American to apple pie and other parts of the world.  So, I guess laziness or malas is now a global phenomenon, eh?Why are people all over the world becoming lazier and lazier?

Me thinks, don’t just blame it on technology and the ability to afford it.  Blame it on people’s attitude towards technology.

You see, I’m not against technology, I’m just challenged by it at times. Haha I’m still figuring out how to make full use of that Nokia Dopod Smartphone I just bought the other day because someone stole my rather ancient but user friendly Nokia 6030 while I was shopping at The Mall. 

I remember, when I was young, I have to walk over to my TV box every time I want to change the channel.  Nowadays, we can’t even switch TV stations without a remote control.  Perhaps they still can in remote places where old TV boxes are still around and not creatively turned into aquariums already.  Hehehe that was what my late grandma did to her old TV set.  But then again, today we have over 60 channels.  Imagine the calories burned as we surf the channels.  I probably don’t even have to go to the gym and hire a personal trainer to get rid of my fat! 


I remember, when I was young, I played polis sentry, galah panjang, batu seremban, monopoly and scrabble with other kids in my neighborhood.  We fought sometimes, but we socialized. Kids today don’t socialize as much, and they hardly come out and play with each other.  Rather, they spend more time online with each other than playing with each other.   

Even adults don’t socialize as much as they did now, and when they do it’s for strategic reasons. I probably belong in a high affiliation motive group – haha a dying breed indeed – who socialise for the sake of socialising, make friends for the sake of making friends because it makes us really happy.   Hehe reality check, do you really know your neighbors? 

In fact, not many people like to go out nowadays simply because they don’t have to leave their houses to buy clothes, jewelry and even groceries and newspapers.  Just surf the internet and it will be delivered to your doorstep.  In the end, they spend more time surfing the internet than exercising.  I think many of my chatters friends can plead guilty of this crime.   Moral of the story? No doubt, technology improves connectivity between people across the globe. But what is happening now is that  people don’t connect as much as they did back then anymore.  I think, technology is influencing people’s attitude towards life and quality of life.  Everything is in the name of convenience.  Convenience is like that thick fat icing on your birthday cake. It certainly looks appetizing and it tastes good alright, but it is really bad for your health in the long run.