- Is there such thing as love at first sight?
- I’m aksing this because I’ve never fallen in love at first sight. Maybe when I was a lot younger, with a playmate when I was in primary school.
- But then again, what did I know about love at the age of ten, if I don’t know anything about love at the age of 36?
- But in any case, I almost thought it was love at first sight, but now I now I was wrong, I didn’t know what the hell that was. It was probably just a puppy love with perhaps some butterflies in my tummy.
- Oh well, it doesn’t matter anyhow as he turned out to be gay anyway!
- Sigh! Love is so simple, yet so abstruse!
- Hahaha perhaps, there is no such thing as love at first sight, there is only lust at first sight. You fall in lust, not fall in love. Love only comes after lust sets in.
- More often than not, when the lust is gone, the love too is gone.
- So, lust is actually only an illusion of love.
- Sigh! Does that mean only fools fall in love?
- In that case, perhaps what I’m really looking for is actually someone who I can build a life together. Hopefully, someone I can really be in love with. Eventually!
- Anything less than passionate love is a complete waste of time, right?
Monthly Archives: June 2007
For a 36 year-old who is neither a celebrity nor a beauty queen nor a multi-millionaire heiress, having quite an active fan club of admirers is not too bad, really.
But sometimes I do wish my options are better-suited to what I’m looking for – whatever that is.
Don’t get me wrong, not that I’m not grateful or flattered that I actually do have a decent number of potential suitors out there.
It is just that, all I’m looking for is my Other Half. I need only one man. THE ONE for me. I haven’t found him…
In the movie, “Dream for an Insomniac”, a conversation between Frankie and David goes like this: “There are so many mediocre things in life. Love shouldn’t be one of them.”
You see, I’ve come to a point in my life where I’m ready to treat love as a priority in my life. Come to think of it, I don’t think that I have ever fallen in love. At least, not since I became single again.
I’m not sure if I’m able to fall in love again, actually. Since my divorce in 2003, crushes, many times. Almost love, a few times. But actually being in love, like being hit by a train, never. So, I don’t really know how that feels. Not anymore.
Anyway, back to the movie. in another scene, when David wanted to leave his live-in girlfriend Molly for Frankie, he said something like this to the no-nonsense goody two shoes Molly: “I think anything less than passionate love is a complete waste of time.”
Molly, of course thinks that is so absurd, as she thinks that to spend too much time on love is a waste of time. I don’t want to be Molly. Yet, I know i’m sometimes I’m like her.
Like David, I too am looking for that “Wow! Factor”. Only that I’ve never really felt it.
Oh God, I feel so numb and emotionally dysfunctional when it comes to romances and falling in love part. My love is like that treasure buried underneath a pharaoh’s pyramid.
I know, love is something that is so simple, yet so abstruse for my complicated and twisted mind to comprehend.
Perhaps, I’m just lousy at playing this game called love. Or I’m just plain tired.
Just a passing thot …
If you love someone, let him go.
If he comes back to you then he is yours.
1 – HER DIARY
Saturday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.Conversation wasn’t flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior; I don’t know why he didn’t say I love you too. When we got home I felt as if had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched T.V. He seemed distant and absent. Finally I decided to go to bed, about 10 minutes later he came to bed and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else.
I decided that I could not take it anymore so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep I don’t know what to do I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
2 – HIS DIARY
Today Italy lost, but at least I got laid.
A lot of times, I think the reason why I’ve been rather non-committal these last few years is simply because I’m tired of being subjected to a man’s rule.
Not that I mind the sex slave part, as long as I’m the master [hehehe :].
Being a woman is no easy task, you know.
Folks, here is why you should be nicer to your wife, girlfriend, mother.
Here is probably why we should always be grateful for what we have and be happy being who we are.
- A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:“Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day.
- Amen. God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man’s wish.
- The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.
- He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the check book.
- He cleaned the cat’s litter box and bathed the dog.
- Then it was already 1P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
- Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.
- Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
- At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.
- After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.
- At 9 P.M . he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren’t finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.
- The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: – “Lord, I don’t know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife’s being able to stay home all day. Please, oh! oh! please, let us trade back.”
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: “My son, I feel You have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You’ll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night.”
I recently read an old Good Housekeeping article (1955). I thought it’s rather hilarious. Scroll down to read.
Hehehe…I can’t imagine doing all those things to be the “good wife” as recommended. Especially that parts when the article says, “don’t ask him questions about his action or question his judgement, you have no right to question him and “let him talk first, listen to him, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.”
Not to mention, “a good wife always knows her place!” part of the article where my jaw literally dropped for a few seconds 🙂
Perhaps that was why marriages last a life time back in those days when men can keep their ego because women’s main purpose in life was to please their men. Hahaha come to think of that, I was guilty of the same crime when I was still married.
I’m not saying that life as a single is necessarily happier, but at least I’m my own master, and I don’t have to be a slave to anyone. I know this now – that I matter the most in my life. Not anyone else, no matter how much I love or admire him. When I remarry one day, my marriage would be a value creation strategy for two people who has decided to grow together by sharing a life. It means, he adds value to my life and I will do the same for him. It will a be a win-win partnership.
He will be my significant other, but it doesn’t mean that he’s more significant than I am in this relationship. I’d like someone who treats me as his equal. Afterall I’d be his other half. How can it be “half” if I’m less than half, right?
Hey, girls, this what I found :
Okay, okay, girls, when you have stopped rolling on the floor laughing long enough to pick up yourselves, do share this with your girlfriends, sisters and liberated boyfriends (and husbands)!
To all bloggers who are already second, third or fourth wives, no pun intended here in my blog. I’m just sharing with you what my best friend Amazing Grace had found on Glenda Larke’s blog – she’s an Australian sci-fi author married to a Malaysian, and currently living in East Malaysia – and shared with me. I agree with her that “Why you shouldn’t be a second wife” is a well-written piece, and worth the read.
Personally I will not want to be a second or third or fourth wife. Neither do I want to be the first with my husband having other wives. If my man has eyes for other women, then he’s not worth my trouble. As Glenda puts it, “The idea of sharing his life with another woman won’t cross his mind.”
Perhaps, I’m just tired of having to put up with men’s absurdness. I guess if having a life partner will make me less happy than I am now, I’d rather not settle down just yet until I find one who is the one for me – and I don’t have to share with any other woman. I want to be a priceless treasure in my man’s life – correction, the only priceless treasure – and not just another commodity that he can trade with another.
I suppose I have to resign to the fact that I might marry someone with less money and education than I do, partly because straight men who are still single at my age are mostly broke or not as financially well off. Either that or they are broken in one way or another. Worse if they’re not as emotionally or mentally well off. I really do not want to be saddled by that kind of baggage. It was terrible enough for me to have that violently jealous ex-boyfriend who scared the hell out of me. I don’t wanna walk along that path again.
Why you shouldn’t be a second wife
By Glenda Larke
There have been some comments in the newspapers here about the problem of social imbalance in Malaysian society – women are now dominating university entrance to a ratio of 60:40, and on graduation, find that men are reluctant to marry women who are better educated than they are, and who are earning more money. [Idiots – don’t they realise it is ALWAYS better to marry someone who is earning more money than you are??]
Unhappily, some Muslim women, desperate to marry, then fall to predatory men wanting a second wife. I personally find it puzzling why an intelligent, well-educated, prosperous, independent woman would think marriage necessarily an improvement on her situation, let alone a marriage where she was wife number two and wife number one was still in the picture…that is so insane, my jaw drops.
Anyway, because I know someone who is in this situation and contemplating such a marriage, here are some reasons why you shouldn’t be a second wife.
1. You will hurt someone. Terribly. No matter that wife number one has to give her permission for such a marrriage, she often feels she has no choice. Believe me, she will be hurt. Devastated, and so too her children. No matter how lovely a woman she is, she will hate you, and so will her children. Believe me, I’ve talked to enough number one wives to know this.
2. A man who will marry number two, will later want to marry number three. That’s the kind of man he is. Is that what you want?
3. You will never be happy. In fact, unless you are a very odd person indeed, your discontent is guaranteed. You will be sharing your man. When you want him around, he’ll be elsewhere. You are sick in the middle of the night? Too bad, he’s with wife number one. You will be thrown into a continual state of competition with another woman. Marriage is a partnership; you will have a threesome. He’s not a partner. He’s invited somewhere; he takes wife number one. If he does take you, you will be shunned by many (I’ve seen it happen). In fact, you will automatically be despised by a great many women the moment you take this step. Is that what you want?
4. A successful marriage is a constant state of negotiation. So many things can go wrong. You are adding to the number of potential flashpoints tenfold when you have a third person, and her family, to consider. You certainly won’t have a partnership. You may have a marriage, but a successful one? I doubt it. You will be married to a strutting peacock, proud of his harem – not the kind of man who negotiates his way through troublespots. Why should he? He can dump you and marry another. That’s the kind of man he is. Worse still, he can dump you and not bother with a divorce – and still marry another.
5. You are labouring under a misconception, right from the beginning. A woman does not need to be married to be fulfilled. If you are contemplating such a marriage, then you are marrying for ALL the wrong reasons, none of which should be yours.You are buying into societal pressure that tries to kid you that you are somehow incomplete/ faulty/ strange/ incompetent, simply because you aren’t tied up to a man. Society tries to tell you there is something inherently wrong with going your own way without a man in your life.That is totally absurd. Rejoice in your liberty – there are a stack of married Muslim women out there who will look at you with envious eyes. Sure, marriage has certain advantages, but so does not being married. I personally know many wonderful Malaysian Muslim women who have remained single, reached the top in their professions, been respected, travelled widely, been assets to the community; who have surrounded themselves with nieces and nephews to fulfil any maternal instincts, and who have ended up the much-love auntie who never lacks for company… There is a wonderful world out there, just waiting for you.
6. If you are a romantic, then consider this – Mr. Right is still out there. He’s a gorgeous hunk who won’t care how much you earn or how many degrees you have. When you walk into the room, his eyes will light up. The idea of sharing his life with another woman won’t cross his mind. And he is not already married to someone else. You don’t want to be married to someone else when you meet him. And if he doesn’t come along, well, by that time you will be having such a wonderful life, you won’t care.
You are a woman. You can do anything.