Monthly Archives: August 2010

The Time of My Life

My blood pressure is back to normal and I don’t have pre hypertension.  I’m single again, but happier, so it’s alright. My newly adopted little kitten whom I almost ran over on Sunday is doing much better, no fracture at all, and he’s recovering well from muscle pain. I’m so happy, for the first time in months!

As I overcome one ordeal at a time, I’m starting to feel good again and my heart is singing 😉

I’ve been waiting for my dreams
To turn into something I could believe in
And looking for that magic rainbow
On the horizon I couldn’t see it until I let go

Gave into love and watched all the bitterness burn
Now I’m coming alive body and soul
And feelin’ my world start to turn

And I’ll taste every moment and live it out loud
I know this is the time, this is the time
To be more than a name or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life, time of my life

Holding onto things that vanished into the air
Left me in pieces but now I’m rising from the ashes
Finding my wings and all that I needed
Was there all along within my reach
As close as the beat of my heart

And I’ll taste every moment and live it out loud
I know this is the time, this is the time to be
More than a name or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time, this is the time of my life
Time of my life

And I’m out on the edge of forever
Ready to run I’m keeping my feet on the ground
Arms open wide face to the sun

I’ll taste every moment and live it out loud
I know this is the time, this is the time to be
More than a name or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life, time of my life
More than a name or a face in the crowd
This is the time
This is the time of my life.
This is the time of my life.

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Taking it easy!

My blood pressure is back to normal! 120/75 is good after over a week of fluctuating between 130/90 and 140/100. What a relief I don’t need lifetime medication because I’m no longer suspected of pre hypertension.  With those nasty sms no longer coming in rampantly and hardly in fact, I am very much at peace and happier now. Next, I only need to juggle high level stress at work and make it manageable and easy like a breeze now that I can focus better. Phew!!!


The best is yet to come…

Being the hopeful optimistic that I have always been, I believe that the best is yet to come. No matter how I feel at this moment, I will get up, dress up and show up! I thought I have found what I’m looking for but I’ve been mistaken again. 

My whirlwind romance and engagement has come to an end after 3 months.  Everything happened just like a dream.  A dream in some parts. A nightmare, in some parts. Whatever it is, it ended when I awoke. I would be writing a novel if I were to tell everything that happened. So, I’ll skip that part.

Let’s just say, he’s not what I’m looking for and he’s far from what I hoped he would be.  Maybe I’m being silly idealistic and not realistic, so blame it on me, what have you lah. But in any case, I don’t think the relationship is going to work. He hasn’t let go of his late wife who passed away more than 11 years ago, and I’m constantly being compared to her.  Unless he lets go of her and moves on with his new life, marriage would only spell DISASTER for us. It’s not fair to me.

And it’s not fair to him either, I haven’t fully let go of The Ex-Hubby either. I have let him go, and yet I haven’t.  I’m not pining for him to come back, and yet I know I won’t have the strength to turn him away if he does come back. Complicated huh? That’s love.

I think I’ve made a mistake. I can’t grow a rose in a desert, no matter what it would be futile.  This journey has many more miles to go before I can sleep. But I don’t want to regret this, as I believe there’s a silver lining in every cloud. Perhaps this break-up is for the best, and I wish him only the best too. I redha with qada and qadar, and pray to Allah for strength and resilience. Tough times don’t last. Tough people do. InsyaAllah!