Monthly Archives: October 2007

Seuntai salam sejambak kato

  • As we bask in a month-long Hari Raya mood (if you fast for an entire month that is), I would like to wish you Selamat Hari Raya in the Minang style…
  • Kok dilipek sebosa kuku, kok dibontang sebosa alam, kok hilang dicari, kok hanyuk dipinteh, kok tonggolam disolam, kok datang biar nampak muko, kok poyi biar nampak belakang, kok jawuah diimbau, kok dokek digamit, seuntai salam sejambak kato, Salam Aidil Fitri buek seisi keluargo!

  •  I had a quiet Eidul Fitrul celebration this year.
  • The first two days were spent entertaining relatives and close friends who came to visit us at home. Partly because I was a lil lazy to host an open house or officially invite anyone to the house, only one close friend came to visit me – Belle of the Party.  The other friends are away in their hometown or kampungs.
  • On the second day Belle of the Party and I visited Eliza who did an open house. I would have come even if she didn’t host an open house anyways. Close friends need not get an invitation to come over to another close friend’s house, right?
  • Eliza must be such a good cook, first I ate her Soto Ayam, then her Mee Rebus,  then her Ketupat and Rendang, then I had cheesecake for dessert. After the third dish and dessert, one of my Baju Kebaya buttons popped out. What an embarrassment. Buat malu kompeni jer ek. Hehehe I’m terrible huh?
  • On the second day, Seniman Bujang Lapuk, my extended super single brother decided to spend Eidul Fitri in Kota Bharu with his girlfriend’s family a.k.a his future in-laws for obvious reasons I really cannot comprehend. My mom was very upset, and so was I for that matter. 
  • On the third day, my family – minus Seniman Bujang Lapuk – drove up to Alor Gajah, Melaka to visit our relatives in a village called Kg Lendu.
  • Nothing much that’s exciting happened in a quiet village. Same ole, same ole lah. Lembu-lembu pun dah tua.
  • When the elders congregate, we the younger ones get to eavesdrop on the latest family gossips – which cousins got married or remarried, divorced, married a second wife (or third, or fourth), are stills bachelors, bachelorettes and errr… spinsters, who’s seeing who, who got engaged, who got disengaged (errr…I mean broke an engagement), who got pregnant, who gave birth, who died, who’s missing in action, who graduated, who dropped out, who got a new job, which uncle or grand uncle retired, who got a new car, who got a new house, who got richer, who got poorer, who moved where, who went to Mekah for haj, who went to umrah, who joined the tabligh.
  • I didn’t know family gossips can actually be quite entertaining…
  • Some gossips are inspiring, like my youngest grand-uncle was awarded Datuk Wira title from Melaka’s Yang Di-Pertua recently, one of my businessman cousins is now a millionaire, and one just got his PhD.
  • Some gossips are really out of this world, like when another grand uncle told us he had been visited by my dead great-uncle’s saka.
  • Then, one of my grand aunts blurted out a taboo question that people like to ask, like when am I getting married. She suggested that I marry one of the bachelors or divorcees from Kg Lendu.
  • Errr…somehow I cringed at that idea, after my “escape”  (errr…not escapade, mind you) from The Johorian Bachelor an aunt tried to match make me with a while ago.
  • While I’m not thaaat high maintenance (errr…I don’t think so!), I know I’m quite fussy when it comes to choosing my man. Errr…I won’t settle for just any Tom, Dick and Harry. I do want a man who has the qualities I want. For example, I wanna be able to have interesting conversations with him everyday, and about different things too. Of course, discourse alone won’t do it, intercourse is very important. He has to know how to turn me on.
  • My man and I have to talk in the same language. Otherwise, we’ll be two strangers after six months, not knowing what else to talk about, apart from mundane things like the weather. Strangers indeed! Hey, I don’t want to sleep with a stranger!

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Raya Yang Sempurna

  • Irama rindu bersama sendu
    Di dalam rasa pengabdianmu
    Pada Tuhanku Yang Maha Satu
    Dan Maha Tahu dirimu itu
  • Datanglah cinta bersama ria
    Di dalam jiwa sempurna akal
    Dari Tuhanku Yang Maha Satu
    Yang Maha Tahu diriku ini
  • Lalu kita semua pun bangkit segera
    Untuk menyusun semula
    Kasih sayang (diisi?)…
    Sebenar-benarnya kasih sayang kita
    Satu untuk semua…
  • Selamat Hari Raya
    Moga doa dan solat
    Kita mendapat kemenangan
    Selamat Hari Raya
    Moga kemenangan
    Kita dapat restu dan berkat
  • Lalu kita semua pun bangkit segera
    Untuk menyusun semula
    Kasih sayang (diisi?)…
    Sebenar-benarnya kasih sayang kita
    Satu untuk semua…
  • Selamat Hari Raya
    Moga doa dan solat
    Kita mendapat kemenangan
    Selamat Hari Raya
    Moga kemenangan
    Kita dapat restu dan berkat
     
  • (Song by Awie)

  • Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri, Maaf Zahir & Batin! 

  • You know what, this is my favorite Hari Raya ad of all time… 

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  • So much so that I look forward to Petronas Hari Raya ads every year.
  • The Talented Ms Yasmin Ahmad’s works always tug at my heart lah! Makes me sooo wanna cry.
  • Despite the latest controversy Blogger Shahriman was allegedly claiming about her infamous Burung Murai TV Commercial, I think she’s a great creative director.

Carpe diem!

While waiting to car pool with a couple of friends to a mutual friend’s open house in Damansara Heights, I was killing time by cleaning up some old files from my laptop this evening. Guess what. I found my old journal for September 2003 and I read it.

 

It’s amazing and so inspiring to remember how much I have achieved in one year alone. It’s probably fate that I found this at the moment I need a good uplift and a boost to my self esteem the most.

I would like to share what I wrote in my journal…

 

“Dear Diary, wow, time really flies. Quarterly review already! I think I’ve been through a lot, done a lot of things and been to a lot of places for the first half of this year: 

Reaching new heights –  As for my mountain climbing and trekking activities, I successfully reached Low’s Peak of Mount Kinabalu, highest peak in the South East Asia at 13,600 ft, I reached the peaks of Mount Angsi at 1, 350 ft, twice, and Mount Nuang at 5, 000 ft twice as well, I climbed a total of 1, 632 steps of Batu Caves after a few trips back and forth, I hiked up Gasing Hill at 900 ft, twice, went white water rafting and shooting rapids at Sungai Padas (Level 5) in Beufort, Sabah, took up go-kart racing, increased my fitness level tremendously, now I can swim 15-20 laps continuously compared to last year, where I’ll call quits before 5 laps.

Work, work and work –  Published the first newsletter for the company (and got it nominated for an award) and organized many firsts for the company, media training workshops for spokespersons, background briefing for editors, educational visit to media houses for PR practitioners, management briefing and media briefing

Travels – Backpacked on a shoestring budget around Victoria, Australia – Melbourne, Phillip Island, Geelong, Dandenong and Pioneer Bay in May, travelled to Sabah and climbed Mount Kinabalu in March, travelled to Doha, Qatar for work in June.

Other happenings – After getting so many complaints from me, the owner of the convenience shop at my condo, who is also my neighbour, sold her business to me which I took over gladly, planning for mom to run the shop as her retirement project, the court finally granted me a divorce from Tahir in July, after almost one year of “gantung tak bertali”.

Thoughts and plans for next quarter –  Increase my fitness level until I can swim 25-30 laps continuously, do at least another speech for toastmasters and if possible, become a Competent Toastmaster by end of June, organize first treasure hunt for the Group, attend Lilian Too’s Feng shui workshop.

 

After reading my journal, I think I shouldn’t be going through a confidence crisis that is affecting many aspects of my life. It’s sooooo not right. Remembering that I am afterall very capable of achieving a lot things, I’m more inspired to make 2008 and beyond as one of the best times of my life. Impossible is nothing, eh?

 

I think I’ve been complacent for sometime. I shall wake up from my deep slumber and be awake. I’ve slept too much. I shall now seize the day! Carpe diem! I shall be alive and kicking!

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Oh maaaaaamaa saya mau kaaaaahwin!

  • I’m kinda bored today, so I was just thinking…

  • If God intended to give us 24 hours a day so that we have eight hours to make a living, eight hours to build a life – for our religion, for ourself, for our family, for our friends,for our society, for our country – and the remaining eight hours to rest – to rejuvenate, recreate or procreate (heh heh!) – then my life is definitely not a balanced one. The weighing scale is very, very lopsided indeed it’s tipping over.

  • It seems my work is always borrowing extra four to six hours from my personal time, day in and day out. In the end, I’m always making a living, and not building a life. 

  • I wish I can say “Thank God it’s Friday” every weekend. But I can’t. Not every weekend anyways. The truth is, I haven’t really enjoyed my weekends. If I have a weekend, that is. That’s because I’m always working even on weekends. If not working on my career, I’d be doing a freelance project. If nothing else, I’d be helping my mom run her grocery business.  Imagine doing that every weekend… 

  • I used to think, if I didn’t do all these, what else would I do over my weekends? Well, theoretically, I’m single, so I would have extra time on my hands compared to my married contemporaries. I can’t make husband and kids as an excuse not to do what I have to do. Besides I’m filling that role of being a filial daughter to my mom, being the patriotic and altruistic soul that I am. Hehehe yeah, right!

  • Actually, I’m just dead bored with my so routine life. Hey I’m a Scorpio, for God’s sake,  I’m never into routine things in life. It’s a real miracle I survive in a corporate career for more than ten years and still running. Errr..walaupun separuh nafas, heh heh.

  • After a while I’m beginning to feel like a fat hamster (literally, hahaha!) running on that stupid treadmill in that ugly little cage, like those you see in pet shops. Keep running and running.  I do want to be loved, but I don’t have to be a pet! Oh no, not a hamster!

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  • I know my mom would not like me to be spend time away from the grocery store on weekends. Every opportunity she gets, she wants me to run the grocery store. 

  • Therefore, my being single is really a chicken and egg situation. Cause and effect if you want to call it that.  Let me illustrate my point in saying this. My mom thinks I should spend time running the grocery store because I’m single. On the other hand, I’m single because I’m busy running the grocery store. It goes on and on. See? Where got time to go dating maaaaaaa! Yet, she’s soooo busy body asking me when I’m getting married. Yet she’s busy asking me to do things that keep me away from meeting potential dates. What a contradiction. What an irony. Mothers!

  • If my mom wants me married off soon, she’s gonna have to give me a lot of moral support instead of trapping me in guilt trips. The guilt trip tactic always worked and my mom’s good at doing that. For that reason, too, I always ended up going back to running her grocery store on weekends. 

  • If I wanna be practical and pragmatic, probably I should find someone (as my other half)who happens to enjoy running a grocery store with me over the weekends, huh? 

  • Huhuhu…I feel like singing that oldies sung by Ito from Blues Gang, “Oh Mama Saya Mahu Kahwin”. It sings, “Oh maaaaaamaa saya mau kaaaaahwin!” or something like that. Heh heh…

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  • I think I need a change my lifestyle. No, wait! I have responsibilities and commitment. So, I can’t do a total makeover. Perhaps, one change at a time is manageable. 

  • Let see…I will do one new thing every day…

  • First, I can pick up a new book by an unfamiliar author, at least unfamiliar to me lah.  (Hmmm come to think of it, I’m already doing that anyways. I’m now reading Albert Camus’ “The Outsider” which is originally “L’Etranger” in French and translated into English which literally means “The Stranger”. Next I’m reading Franz Kafka and Jean Paul Satre). 

  • I can sit in a different chair with my morning coffee, if only to see my house (or my mom’s grocery shop) from a fresh perspective to keep my mind alert and my heart alive. Hmmm, naaaah, this really makes me feel like a centenarian living in an old folk’s home. Touch wood!

  • I need a radical change. I think I need a lifestyle makeover. I shall sleep on it tonight!  Walaubagaimanapun, if you have brilliant ideas, please share with me. 

  • I, Penglipur Lara, hereby surrender being single! Amen!


Forgive and forget…

  • There are moments in my life when I miss someone so much that I just want to pick him from my dreams and hug him for real!  

  • Eidul Fitri is one of those times of the year that I really missed him – my not so forgotten past.

  • I said “not so forgotten” because I tried very hard to erase him from my memory but it’s such a futile attempt.

  • For God’s sake, he was my other half, my significant other, for almost 15 years. We literally grew up together – through good and bad times.

  • How can one erase close to half of one’s lifetime’s memory without the danger of getting Alzheimer? Ouch, touch wood!  

  • So in the end, he resides in my memory – awakened by nostalgic moments such as this day. Sometimes, in the grip of a sudden poetic mood, I buried myself in the sweetness of those memories, and dared myself to daydream. But alas! My daydream never lasted very long.  

  • Eidul Fitri is my Total Recall Day every year since we parted our separate ways five years ago.  Omigod! Has it been five years already??? Darnest! I’ve been single for that long??? Wow, time really flies.  

  • Thank God, however, I’m not one who wallows in grief over a long lost forgotten love and what could have been. Although I still think about him sometimes, he remains only a distant memory in my head now. 

  • Honestly, I hope he finds what he’s looking for. I hope he is happy with his choices in life. I know he did one or two very terrible things to me, and he caused me so much heartache and years of reeling in emotional pain, but I forgive him nevertheless – at least once a year.

  • Afterall, Eidul Fitri is about forgiveness. To NOT forgive him means I would be carrying a heavy burden in my chest through the rest of my journey in this life – I ain’t gonna carry that load!!!  

  • They say, the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. I shall do my best.

  • Eidul Fitri Mubarak! Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri!

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Out of sight out of mind

  • After one month of not thinking of him as often as I did, I’m beginning to feel that Rugger Dan was just one of my crushes. Yep, I’m pretty sure he’s just a crush.

  • Out of sight out of mind, my heart no longer flutters at the sound of his name.

  • I really dunno if I should be glad or sad that what beautiful moments we had didn’t amount to anything material.

  • It would have been nice if it had turned out beautifully, but my love (or so I thought) was nipped right at the bud before it had a chance to blossom into a rose. Sigh!

  • Should I cry? Naaah, if he makes me cry, he’s not worth my tears.

  • Guess what, life goes on, I must move on. Hey, no regrets, I’m pretty sure, Allah knows what’s best for me. I have faith in Him.

  • You know what? One thing for sure, being heartbroken many times has made me tougher, wiser and sober. When it comes to love or so I thought was love, I think I’ve built too many sandcastles in the air…

  • Oh bugger it! If one can survive a major heartbreak, what is a silly crush? Zit!

  • Despite a string of bad relationships that ended disastrously in the past, I think I’m blessed. Imagine what misfortune it would have been if I ended up with any one of those jerks? Would have been even more disastrous than the break-up, me thinks.

  • Well, some are really jerks. Some are just…whateva! I would probably be miserable.  

  • Isn’t it better to be single but happier than being in a relationship that makes you miserable?

  • I think I will optimistically be patient and take my time to find a worthy relationship that makes both me and my partner (whoever that is) much happier people than when we were single. We’ll be Mr. & Mrs Happiness J

  • Oh yeah…Mr. Happiness is sure to come my way very soon. He’s probably lost somewhere out there under the big blue sky, trying to find his way into my life. 

  • Sigh! Boys will be boys, they will not ask for directions J

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