Lessons I learned from being a fool for love

I have come to understand that the world is nothing but illusions. Everything is an illusion, everything except for God, that is. The universe exists in the way we see it because we created it to be such. There is no absolute truth in this world. If perception is reality, then truth changes as our reality changes. What we see as truth, reality and existence depend on what we look for.

 

As the saying goes, everything looks like a nail to someone with a hammer in her hand. If I’m looking for love, everything will look like love to me. I would be caught unaware when the man is playing with my heart (and sometimes my money). Ironically, the heart knows this, but the mind refused to listen to the heart. Because the mind wants to be right, even when the heart knows it’s not the right thing to do. Thus, I ended up being a fool for love.

 

The mind plays tricks on you, so listen to your heart, as my beautiful German meditation teacher Anna Kaster always tells me. Perhaps Anna is right. My intuition comes from the heart. Listening to my heart (and my intuition) is what will save me at the end of the day.

 

The great Roman leader Julius Caesar once said, ‘Experience is the teacher of all things.”

 

Indeed, experience is a great teacher, because we learned the lesson after getting the test. Now that I’m more experienced, mature and wiser, I’d like to share with you lessons that I have learned from being a fool for love:

 

  • If a man is not enthusiastic about calling me often, then I should take a hint that he’s not that into me. Otherwise, he would be finding ways to connect with me – there’s the phone, e-mail, yahoo messenger, car, bike, plane, boat, bus, LRT or beam me up Scotty (ha-ha).
  • If a man doesn’t answer my calls after dark, or on weekends, and keeps giving me excuses about not being able to spend time with me on weekends, then he is most likely not available – either he is already married, or is seriously seeing someone or is seeing so many other women as in he’s a player.
  • If a man doesn’t want to call or be called, it’s not about connectivity. If there’s a will, there’s surely a way to call and to pick up calls, and not dishing out stupid excuses such as his phone went out of battery (duh, every night and every weekend?) or there is no mobile network coverage at his house. Everything is about connectivity this millennium, unless you live in the jungle, deep rural area or mountain top.
  • If a man doesn’t give me 100% attention on our date, as in answering calls (doesn’t matter if it’s personal or business unless it’s a matter of life and death) or replying text messages, then he doesn’t value me enough to make his time spent with me as precious moments.
  • When I’m in a relationship, if a man is not generous with me – then there’s a strong chance he’d be even more “kedekut” when and if we get married later. If he expects me to pay for our dinner especially on a first date, then I should forget about him.
  • If a man I’m in a relationship with borrows or asks money from me for whatever reason, then there’s a strong possibility he is just using me as a financial bridge during his hard times. I should relook at what he wants from me in the relationship. Is he after my money? Is it the prospect of me as his financial fallback plan?
  • When I’m in a relationship, if I seem to be more emotionally enthusiastic about him than he is about me, then the state of emotion in that relationship is not balanced. So I should take it as a hint to leave the relationship where only one party is winning the game and the other is losing out.
  • If a man wants to get intimate so early in a relationship, then there’s a strong possibility he thinks of me as more of a conquest, rather than a life partner material. Red alert, he may be a horny pig. I should look at what the relationship is based on. Is it lust or love?

About Nel Fahro-Rozi

I’m an avid reader, prolific wordsmith, cat lover, and passionate foodie and traveler. When I’m not in a world of my own with any of the above, I am an entrepreneur, communicator and writer. View all posts by Nel Fahro-Rozi

5 responses to “Lessons I learned from being a fool for love

  • desertaprilrain

    Perfect opening paragraph on absolute truth. The rest are just details.
    We have a choice on how, when, where, why and who we want to be with..really.
    Men who seemed to be always in control are your best bet..inside, he’s the opposite. Take control for a change. Again, the rest are details.
    Seize The Day. Good luck.

  • Nel Fahro-Rozi

    hullo desertaprilrain, thanks for dropping by. How’s it going in dubai?

  • Zinky Zumpus

    Anna Kaster is a world class yoga teacher. I have also learned a lot from her. I am in America, where are you?

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