Life is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think, as Horace Walpole puts it. Perhaps I’ve been feeling too much, rather than doing more thinking.
As much as I feel hurt and down and out, I must let this heartache go – once and for all. I think I’ve been dwelling on this heartache for almost a month. Okay, okay maybe a month – and I think this is unnecessary air time that I’m giving to Orang Bulan by allowing him to occupy my space. He was taking me away from my joy and happiness for that much time. So I forgive him and let him go.
For a month I was doing my best not to let all my feelings crumble down on me.
At the end of it all, I’ve learned though that love is inexhaustible and can be unconditional. Unconditional love for humanity is what is stopping me from hating Orang Bulan and many others before him who has hurt me and done me wrong.
Love, acceptance and forgiveness are virtues that are closer to Allah, and they create so much joy and happiness in my heart. Hatred, fear and vengeance only create suffering and misery. If I let these feelings control me, they will separate me further from being one with God.
I’m ready to accept the fact that I’m human, I’m a mere mortal nonetheless and I make mistakes and wrong judgments in life.
As I learned from my experience, I see my mistakes as part of growing pains which are necessary for me to become a stronger person who has an abundance of joy and happiness in her heart to not succumb to suffering and misery.
I’m now ready to move on with my life and start living again. I’m not going to let a few not so good men robs me of my ability to love others unconditionally. I will not let a few bad experiences keep me from doing anything I wanted to do. I will keep exploring what life has in store for me. I remember what Micheal Jordan said “I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.”
While falling in love is a good feeling and we all want that, failing in love is not a bad thing either although none of us wants it.
In Al Baqarah verse 216, Allah says it is possible that we dislike a thing which is good for us, and that we love a thing which is bad for us. Allah knows, and we know not.
So, you see, what or who we like may not be necessarily be good for us, and what or who we dislike may not be necessarily bad for us either.
Bottom line is, we must “redha” or accept Allah’s “qadha and qadar”. I think that is the key to joy, happiness and forgiveness.