Babe in Total Control of Herself

After a series of serious broken heart episodes, I just want to chill out from love and romance for now.

I opted out from playing this silly game because I’m not really good at it. Looking at past results, I think I played terribly. I always ended up becoming game to the players and I get my heart crushed to little pieces like broken glass on the floor every time I fall in love. So, perhaps I shouldn’t fall in love next time.

Let’s face it, majority of men out there just want to play around with a woman’s emotions. Some men do it for money, some men do it for fun, some are just sick in the mind they’d do it to keep a personal score and brag about their conquests to their equally sick friends, and some just for the heck of it.

At the end of the day, none of these sick men care if they break a girl’s heart. They don’t give a damn to what happens as a consequence of their monstrosity. Ugly monsters are what they really are when you remove their face masks at the end of the day.

I’ve decided that I’m not going to invest in my emotion in any man. Not until he has done enough to earn my love and trust, and has given his commitment to a steady relationship with me. I’m not trying to be a tough cookie or want to become a cold-hearted bitch. I’m just protecting myself from those vicious vultures hovering over my head from preying on me.

Hmmm perhaps being a BITCH is not a bad idea either, because in my dictionary, BITCH means Babe in Total Control of Herself.

I realize that no man is really worthy of my tears, and if a man really is, he won’t make me cry except for happy tears.

At the end of the day only the love for God is the only love that will never disappoint me. It is love that is eternal and endless. So, I’m going to retreat from this cruel world and be in love with Him for eternity.



About Nel Fahro-Rozi

I’m an avid reader, prolific wordsmith, cat lover, and passionate foodie and traveler. When I’m not in a world of my own with any of the above, I am an entrepreneur, communicator and writer. View all posts by Nel Fahro-Rozi

4 responses to “Babe in Total Control of Herself

  • musk

    all your posts were revolved around these love,
    emotion and all. be brave and face the mean world
    of reality…

    • Nel Fahro-Rozi

      thanks musk, i’ll be brave. yup, my blog is about love, relationship, and emotions. can’t stomach politics so i’d rather avoid politics.

  • Kink Aai

    It is ok to play the game, but it would be more spicy if you take it as “men are to protect and to serve”… You never know, along the way you may find your Prince Charming.

    But remember… just don’t let the game you play takes over you, babe.

    Do you want to be like this? No, I don’t think so…


    I hate the world today
    You’re so good to me
    I know but I can’t change
    Tried to tell you
    But you look at me like maybe
    I’m an angel underneath
    Innocent and sweet
    Yesterday I cried
    Must have been relieved to see
    The softer side
    I can understand how you’d be so confused
    I don’t envy you
    I’m a little bit of everything
    All rolled into one

    I’m a bitch, I’m a lover
    I’m a child, I’m a mother
    I’m a sinner, I’m a saint
    I do not feel ashamed
    I’m your hell, I’m your dream
    I’m nothing in between
    You know you wouldn’t want it any other way

    So take me as I am
    This may mean
    You’ll have to be a stronger man
    Rest assured that
    When I start to make you nervous
    And I’m going to extremes
    Tomorrow I will change
    And today won’t mean a thing

    Just when you think, you got me figured out
    The season’s already changing
    I think it’s cool, you do what you do
    And don’t try to save me

    I’m a bitch, I’m a tease
    I’m a goddess on my knees
    When you hurt, when you suffer
    I’m your angel undercover
    I’ve been numb, I’m revived
    Can’t say I’m not alive
    You know I wouldn’t want it any other way

    Meredith Brooks

    • Nel Fahro-Rozi

      Hahaha nice song kink aiii! I like the part which says:

      I’m a bitch, I’m a lover
      I’m a child, I’m a mother
      I’m a sinner, I’m a saint
      I do not feel ashamed
      I’m your hell, I’m your dream
      I’m nothing in between
      You know you wouldn’t want it any other way

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