How does one grow a rose in a desert?
Let’s think out of the box, and be a little outrageous and unreasonable to create this possibility.
It is possible to plant a rose and grow it, if one builds a greenhouse to shelter it, and use the right technology, methodology; fertilizers and lots of water and nurturing for the rose grow.
Perhaps the rose will grow if the planter continues to provide all that the rose requires for it to grow. The planter will need to invest her time, effort; money and lots of nurturing to make sure her rose will grow beautifully.
Despite her best efforts, the rose couldn’t grow to bloom as roses should, because the desert, being a desert, is a harsh environment for a rose to grow.
The desert sends many cruel storms that the greenhouse fell to the ground. After enduring it for some time, the planter is thinking, is the effort worth her tears and pain to keep growing the rose, when there is a better soil elsewhere for her to grow her rose. Perhaps the rose will grow better in a lush garden where the soil, environment and the rose can co-exist symbiotically.
When I think of the content vs. context of my long standing, long distance and stagnant relationship with Abang Iman, I realise, it is just like growing a rose in the desert.
Like the planter, I put in a lot of content into this relationship – I built the best greenhouse, I feed my rose the best fertilizers and lots of water. I poured in a lot of love and nurturing for my rose to grow and bloom. My rose didn’t bloom, as the desert is being harsh to it. The desert feels that the greenhouse is invading its space, as the desert doesn’t want to share.
I realised now why it’s not working out well between Abang Iman and me. Although my content is right, the context of our relationship just isn’t right.
Love is a many-splendored thing. But, wake up and smell the coffee, Nel. Love alone is not enough to build a relationship, I realise that now.
There is no common ground between us. We want different things in life. I’m ready for a commitment, and he’s not. We lead two very different lives. He wants me to be what I’m not, and it stifles me not to be able to be myself. I want to settle down next year, and he wants to settle down only in two or three years. He won’t compromise, and I over compromised.
The saddest part of it all is I’m not factored into his life’s equation. It is what he wants that counts, not what WE want. That leaves us with nothing much to talk about, at the end of the day.
Just like the planter, I’m growing a rose on the wrong soil – and in a DESERT, of all places on earth.
So, I bid you goodbye my desert, for I must find a lush garden for my rose to grow…