Truth, like surgery, may hurt


As prominent writer on modern Chinese and Asian subjects, Han Suyin, who is author of the novels, “A Many-Splendoured Thing” (which was made into the 1955 movie “Love Is a Many Splendored Thing”), “Till Morning Comes”, “The Enchantress”, “Four Faces”, and “The Mountain is Young”, puts it, “Truth, like surgery, may hurt, but it cures.”
The truth is, expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. But, in any case, I will be a “vegetarian” nonetheless. I do not mean being vegetarian by forgoing meat. By going vegetarian, I mean practicing celibacy by choice. In today’s colloquial term, people who are practicing celibacy by choice are called “vegetarians”.




I do not care if people think I am such a politically correct nerd and not cool or hip for standing my ground on “no love and commitment, no sex”. Simply put I subscribe to neither pre-marital sex nor extra-marital sex. I do not care if you call me “old fashioned”.

To share my experience, I have been told by one of my dates sometime ago that I am old fashioned. I was told that I am not “open minded” because of my “no love and commitment, no sex” principle.

I find it so disgusting that some of my dates was asking me about my stand on sex and if I am “open-minded”. Indeed, the gentleman is a dying breed. That question is so uncouth and disrespectful, considering we have not even begun to really get to know each other, and they pop up the sex question. I wonder if getting to know each other really important at all to them?

Is being “open minded” means you are being sexually available?


Perhaps those who think that are the ones who are actually “closed minded”. In fact they have a “one track mind”. Do they really know what being “open minded” means?I believe the politically correct definition of being an open minded person is someone who understands and accepts people as they are, without judgment and with respect. Being open minded means you are not judging people based on your own values, but theirs. 


On that note, I do not put a label on them for being sexually available, so do not pass judgment on me for being sexually not available. It is my right to be or not to be celibate, whatever I choose.

It seems to me that the world today has a big population of non-committal people who are not into romance and committed relationships. They just want to flirt around, play the field, and then get away with murder. Be it the singles or the married ones.

What do you think?


About Nel Fahro-Rozi

I’m an avid reader, prolific wordsmith, cat lover, and passionate foodie and traveler. When I’m not in a world of my own with any of the above, I am an entrepreneur, communicator and writer. View all posts by Nel Fahro-Rozi

One response to “Truth, like surgery, may hurt

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