Temporarily chipped ego…

  • A well-intentioned old school mate tried to match make me with a mutual old friend who used to play together with us after school. I’d say we were once quite close and he used to come by my house to play with me and my brother.
  • I was not that keen in subscribing to her idea at first but she kept pushing me to go for it and “just do it!”. Like perhaps almost six billion other people on this Planet Earth, I do have a strong phobia of being rejected by a man. Hey, no one wants to be rebuffed nor ignored!
  • First dates always mean my ego is on the line when I open up and extend myself to a man. There is always a possibility that he won’t be interested in me. That is a risk that can chip my ego.
  • But then again, if I don’t take the risk and reach out, I will have zero chance to explore the other side of the possibilty. It might just work out. So I thot, oh well, I risk my life all the time on the freeway. I’m sure I’m strong enough to withstand a temporarily chipped ego if it doesn’t work out.
  • So in the end, I agreed to meet him, but it was more so because I wanted to meet an old friend and to renew an old friendship. I wasn’t expecting anything more than that, my enormous ego was telling me not to.
  • Our first date, if you can call it a date, went very well, and we talked on for hours. It was quite an intellectually stimulating conversation.
  • We did have a second date but unfortunately we didn’t make it to our third date. Our friend in her efforts to get us together, was a little overboard in her enthusiasm and was pushing it a bit too far when she teased us and was telling our other friends that we’re dating. So much so that we both felt very awkward. I think it scared him off because the next two times I called him to see if we could catch up for coffee, he said maybe next time, he’s really busy this whole month.
  • Hahaha, I think that’s a really lame excuse. I’m definitely not a bimbo and I’m really quite smart, you know. I’m capable of taking a hint. It probably means, there is no next time. Not a date, anyways.
  • At times like these, I can relate well to what Martin Luther King once wrote in “Letter from Birmingham Jail”. He wrote, lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering that outright rejection.
  • Hey, it’s okay if he doesn’t want to be more than just a friend to me, you know. I’m 36. I’m not 18. So I completely understand!
  • Don’t reject me as a friend just because you don’t think I’m your cup of tea as a date.
  • So hey, I’d really appreciate it if we continue to be just friends like we used to be when we were kids, you know, considering the years we’ve known each other.
  • I’m not expecting anything more than platonic. Oh brother, men are such idiot eh?

About Nel Fahro-Rozi

I’m an avid reader, prolific wordsmith, cat lover, and passionate foodie and traveler. When I’m not in a world of my own with any of the above, I am an entrepreneur, communicator and writer. View all posts by Nel Fahro-Rozi

7 responses to “Temporarily chipped ego…

  • gigibiru

    hmm takottt mak apsal arr y did u scare those
    guy cian dierrr wakaka

  • Ash

    Hey Nel… apalah mamat tu, penakut sangat! Bukan ajak kawen pun! Ha ha ha ha. Per’aps your friend really did scare him off with her premature announcements, eh? 😛 Hope you have a better third date next time! 😉

  • penglipurlara

    Hehehe Tooth, Ash, you guys are very rite lah. Lelaki penakut kot. I tak tau ler lelaki zaman skrg ni beb, susah nak jumpa a real gentleman! Lelaki sejati is a dying breed.

    Latest update, my friend kata, that guy just told her the other day he feels scared because dia dah serik bercinta and he’s not ready for commitment. Wakakaka. Ek eleh, betul kata hang ler Ash, bukan nyer aku nak ajak kawen. Aku nak ajak berkawan jer ler. Bukan nyer aku menggigit! Waduh, adddesss!!!!

  • Ash

    Oh man, nel that’s so hilarious! Belum apa-apa pun dah cabut lari. Ha ha ha. ps: Are you on YM? If you are, feel free to add me using the e-mail I’ve given! Take care!

  • addie


    Tsk tsk tsk… that was harsh, calling men idiots. We all know that there is an equal ratio of idiotic women to men. We know some of them – in particular a lady lecturer who is absolutely smitten by our Jack-jack…

    Haiyah, u wanna talk about rejection and failed relationships? I’m your one-stop reference, darling. You name it, I’ve experienced it, from the Married-But-Available category, the Single-Expat-And-Enjoying- Attention-From-Desperate-Asian-Women category, the Scared-Of-Mother’s-Expectations category and it goes on and on. The one thing that we should remember is to never short-change ourselves. If he doesn’t meet our basic requirements to respect us, inspire us and make honest women out of us, then there’s no compromise.

    We’ve worked hard to be where we are, cayang, and this I know about both of us. How can you sell a souped-up car at the price of a junk in which state you found it in? All I’m saying is, don’t sell if the price is not right, unless you’re desperate. And I doubt you’ll EVER reach that stage, babe.

    As long as we keep a steady storage of hobbies and activities to keep our minds busy, that’ll be enough to last us a lifetime methinks. I know I might whine about being single – but hey, like you said, it’s a choice. There are suitors and pursuers, but not suitable. As Samuel Coleridge wrote in “The Rime Of The Ancient Mariner” – Water, water, everywhere / Nor any drop to drink.

    As a fellow single (who’s less successful in relationships than you!!), I’d say that the guy is human after all. If you were in his shoes, you’d probably buckle as well. But this time, at least you can console yourself in that you weren’t the cause of it. Let it slide, let it fade. If he picks up the phone to call, then it was meant to be. If not, then too bad.

    In the context of “intellectual stimulation”, there will be conversations and there will be conversations. But throughout the dialogue, the x-factor that will determine the probability of a recall, is that cosmic thing called ATTRACTION. Be it physical or sexual, it will warrant another date, another call – all because you both want to see each other so badly. If it’s just mental orgasm, then an email or a chat will suffice, don’t you think? And if that’s the case, where’s the excitement, the thrill of a chase, eh?

    I have other thoughts on this, but they’re too personal to be told here *blush*… these are things that you and only you know about me, and we shall do this over coffee someday. In the meantime, from the way I see it, there was no loss here. Yes, I agree the ego must have been chipped. I would have felt the same way – a little embarrassed and humiliated that someone thought I was gullible enough to become fodder for her gossip-mongering habit. Leave it at that. I’ve told you before, I see you with a more elegant man than that. More mature, more intelligent, more calm, more collected. Someone to complement all those very traits in you.

    Don’t sell yourself short ok? And don’t feel upset… this is really nothing, just a case of ruffled feathers. YOU’RE BETTER THAN THIS!!!

    And that’s why I love you xxx
    (and i promise i’ll update my blog soooooonnn…!!!)

  • penglipurlara

    Hehehe auwwwww Addie…that’s why I love you to bits! You read me like a book. Hehehe it’s just a temporarily chipped ego, no permanent damage here. Like kereta, a bit of dent can always ketuk maaa!

    No worries, babe, I’ll never sell myself short. These past few years have toughened me up good. Besides, I’ve got tough friends like Addie too!

  • penglipurlara

    Alamak, Ash I mana ader your e-mail address lah. My YM id is tikusmontel_tikusmontok. Add me lah. Dah lama tak chit chat with you. Last time we had coffee, I remember your stories were so hilarious. Hehehe 🙂

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