Rules for my diet

  1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories. 

  2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda. 

  3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do.

  4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake. 

  5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner. 

  6.  Movie-related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel. 

  7. Cookie pieces contain no calories — the process of breaking causes calorie leakage. 

  8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife while making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon when making a sundae. 

  9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. 

  10. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies, and popsicles.

 

Note: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.  

About Nel Fahro-Rozi

I’m an avid reader, prolific wordsmith, cat lover, and passionate foodie and traveler. When I’m not in a world of my own with any of the above, I am an entrepreneur, communicator and writer. View all posts by Nel Fahro-Rozi

One response to “Rules for my diet

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